Last week I noticed on my Facebook feed blogs and articles about a magazine poll rating which celebrities are the best body positive role models. I read how Adele, Melissa McCarthy and Oprah are celebrities people see as the most inspiring in terms of body image. And it got me thinking about the whole idea of role models. Do they actually play a significant role in helping us have a positive relationship with our body and reclaiming our body sovereignty? After doing some reading, discussing and reflecting I find myself thinking yes….. body positive role models can play an important part in our journey to body sovereignty.
So what it is about certain people that inspires us? And how do they help us to feel better about our body? I enlisted the help of my Facebook friends and asked about their body image role models. I was taken aback by the number of women who took the time to reply to my post and how earnest they sounded in their appreciation for those who they see as body positive role models. Women certainly commented on celebrities who are successful despite having a body that may not conform to our current ideals of beauty (as the magazine poll highlighted). But I also heard about respected teachers and healers whose teachings do not present an assumption that a larger body is an unhealthy one. I heard about coaches who focus on athletic ability and not body size. I heard an appreciation for those who put themselves out there and speak about body acceptance, recognizing how hard it can be sometimes, they encourage us and give us strength to keep going. I was particularly struck by the stories I heard about the impact of being around other women who are comfortable in their body when they are naked, such in a locker room or at a spa. Women find it very empowering to see other women just as they are. As one friend said: “being around women who were/are comfortable in their bodies and had/have no shame in nakedness has left a lasting, positive effect. When I begin to fail to see my own beauty, I see theirs, in all it’s imperfection, which reminds me that I too must be that beautiful.” Powerful!
Body positive role models help us to see our own beauty and help us resist the conditioning of an unachievable beauty ideal that we’ve all been subject to. By consciously consuming positive images of people in larger/diverse bodies and hearing body-positive messages from these role models we are encouraged to shift our own inner dialogue to one that supports feeling good about our body and supports our well-being. So, ask yourself, who are your role models for body positivity? If you don’t have body positive role model, maybe it is time to give it some thought. Is there someone who inspires you? The great thing about role models, is that we have choice! We can use discernment to consider who we want to look up to, who we will be inspired by.
As you explore who might inspire you to be more body-positive, I suggest you consider diversity in your role models. People who are living body positive lives come in a variety of body shapes, sizes, ages, abilities, race, sexualities and gender expressions. Certainly it is important to find people to look up to, that look like us, but I also think finding people who help us remember that body diversity is *normal* is a good thing. Celebrities can be fun role models in that we can look up to what they have achieved, but I also encourage you to consider thinking about the people in your day to day life who inspire you. Maybe a co-worker, relative or athlete. What is important here is that the person is a positive inspiration, someone whose example will encourage you on your journey to body sovereignty. If their example lifts you up, helps you to feel good about yourself, this is a sign this person could be a positive is role model for you. But watch for the trap of a role model who represents a hard to achieve body ideal that leaves you depressed and feeling defeated. This is not helpful.
Also, let’s remember to keep things in perspective. Body positive role models can be awesome and helpful to you on your journey to body sovereignty, but we must resist putting people on a pedestal. A role model is someone to take inspiration from, not someone to become your guru, whose actions you follow blindly. Because, quite frankly, we all have feet of clay and no one will always live up to our ideals of what being ‘body positive’ means. Sometimes we have to simply focus on the good aspects of a role model and disregard what we don’t agree with, and sometimes we need to acknowledge a particular person no longer works as a role model for us. Oprah is a good example of this for me. For many years, even though I wasn’t a huge fan of her show, I appreciated that she was doing an amazing job of busting stereotypes along many lines (size, gender, race). I empathized with her very public struggle with her weight and had been feeling hopeful in recent years that she seemed to be coming to a more peaceful relationship with her body. However, when Oprah bought into Weight Watchers and told us that ‘in every fat woman there is a skinny woman trying to get out’ (I am paraphrasing a bit here), I was very disappointed and can no longer consider Oprah a role model for body positivity, in any way. There are many people who feel similarly about Melissa McCarthy because her weight has shifted downward. Personally, I still consider Melissa McCarthy a positive body image role model because when she’s asked about her apparent weight loss she downplays the question, acknowledging that her weight goes up and down and it isn’t something she worries about. Her response resonates with my own perspective. Weight change in and of itself is not a bad thing. What would cause me to see Melissa as less of a body positive role model would be if she starting sharing that her weight loss was intentional, and pitching a ‘plan’ that she used to lose weight. At that point she would lose credibility as a body positive role model for me. All this to say – who we choose to look up to as body positive role models is very personal and should be reflective of our own values around body image, weight and health.
Finally, remember the words of my friend I quoted earlier? “When I begin to fail to see my own beauty, I see theirs, in all it’s imperfection, which reminds me that I too must be that beautiful.” Look to your body positive role models to remind yourself how beautiful and awesome *you* are. And then, by working to reclaim your body sovereignty and doing all the brave and amazing things you are doing, and don’t be surprised to find out a friend, family member or colleague considers *you* a body positive role model. Because in the end, that’s what it is all about, we look to others for inspiration on this journey and then, in turn, we become an inspiration for others. We are all in this together.